I don’t mean to say that as an “OH MY GOD I WANT TO BE SKINNY” sort of comment, but food gets stuck in my wisdom teeth holes and it’s just a fucking pain to clean them. And it hurts. And smells. And this has been an in depth post of my mouth.
“And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long.”—Sylvia Plath (via professor-x-rated)
And it’s just too dramatic. It’s the episode when JT finds out Liberty is pregnant. I mean, why would you wait to tell him, Liberty? And JT, why the hell would you use a king sized condom? Why? This is so silly. They need to find some sense. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Degrassi, but sometimes I just think that they need to tone it down a little bit on the drama. Our lives are filled with enough sometimes.
Brock had a brother who was racing boats. Like… Monster Truck Boats. And then I went to a zoo/aquarium. There were these monkeys wearing bras. There was one guy who was cloned six times to study behavior and personality. My brain hurts after that. OH! And this girl I don’t particularly like was in the ape display filed under “Do not let near men.” Michelle. Caroline. Get a good laugh. You know what I’m talking about.
I didn’t have a date. SINGLE LADIES WHAT UP. But I had a fabulous time anyways. Devin even played TWIN SHADOW as part of his mix. Needless to say, Caroline, Michelle and I broke into smiles. Yeah. That’s right. PS Ignore the cheek puff. Stupid wisdom teeth.
I had run away… With my car. Who could talk. And was quite stupid, but very smart. We were running from someone. Hell, I think the both of us ended up at a birthday party at a bowling alley. There was cake.
"This will just help you relax," the nurse said as she slipped the mask over my nose. "It’s laughing gas. You’ll feel a little funny at first, and then Dr. Mana will put in the IV. Okay?" She had the tone of my mother, that is, when my mother thought I needed things explained to me as if I were five. "That’s fine," I repeated for the millionth time. I’d been sitting in this dentist chair for less than five minutes and I already had answered more questions than I could count. Are you comfortable? Are you nervous? What’s your mother’s name? The only question I felt compelled to ask was for the time. It was my time, after all. Forty-five minutes of my life I would never get back. Every other aspect of the removal of my teeth didn’t bother me. But losing time? Time I wouldn’t remember losing? "Excuse me," I said, fighting to find my voice through a thin haze of gas, "but what time is it?" "It’s ten fifteen, honey," the nurse replied, adjusting the mask on my nose. It certainly didn’t feel like I was breathing in anything but air, but with each breath I could feel a slight burning sensation in the back of my throat. Dr. Mana appeared out of nowhere as the gas seemed to take a turn for the worse. The lights seemed to get a little dimmer, or maybe it was really just all in my head. "How are you feeling?" he asked, taking my right arm in his gloved hands. I couldn’t look at him. I knew he had the needle for the IV with him. "Never better," I joked, each word sticking in my throat. It felt harder to think than ever before. I wanted to think about the incredible nature of laughing gas a little longer, but I knew I didn’t have much time. "We’re going to put the needle in now," the nurse mentioned. "Are you ready?" I mustered a nod. "You’ll feel a pinch," she said as he pierced my skin with the needle. My fists clenched weakly on my lap, and the nurse had to move them away so they could make room for all the torture instruments I wouldn’t see. I awaited the darkness, eager to meet with it again. "I feel like I’m out of my body," I whispered before I closed my eyes and let the darkness overcome me. *** I opened my eyes in the dark, expecting not to se anything. Instead, I radiated a strange light. Although I couldn’t see anything, I felt a little like Link in any Legend of Zelda game. No matter how dark it was, his fairy gave him some light. My feet started moving forward without my consent. I tried to stop, but they wanted to lead me somewhere. The darkness usually would make me feel uneasy, tense even, but this darkness soothed me. In the distance, I could see a figure hunched over itself. I wanted to call out, but my mouth seemed like it was too occupied, as if my mouth were filled with the torture tools from the light. To make sure, I gently touched my lips only to find that I couldn’t feel them. Numb. Completely numb. "You’ll get used to it," a voice said, echoing around me. "Don’t worry about it too much." "I’ll try not too," I said curiously, my feet bringing me closer to the voice. My light dimmed when I reached the figure, surprised to find it was myself, but a much younger me. "Oh…" I breathed, scrutinizing my younger face with speculation. Did I really used to look like that? "Bet you weren’t expecting me," she said, chuckling lightly. "Go on, laugh. I find this funny." I giggled nervously, taking a seat beside her. I stared at her in wonder. “How old are you?” "About eight," she said, looking me over from head to toe. I couldn’t believe I was looking at my eight year old self. This was too unreal. "So… Why are you here?" I asked casually. She looked at me like I was crazy. "You’re kidding, right? I’m dreaming. I’ve always come here to dream," she paused to collect her thoughts. "What about you?" I cringed at what was happening to my mouth in the light, but I tried not to dwell on it. "Have you ever heard of wisdom teeth?" I asked cautiously, approaching the subject as slowly as I could. Her eyes widened, but not in fear. "I read about them in my favorite book! Children of the Lamp! Are you becoming a genie, too?” Young shannon clapped her hands together in elation. I smiled slyly at her, recalling the hours I spent rereading that book. "Sadly, no," I sighed, ruffling her hair. "I’m not turning into a genie. But they will mess up our perfectly straight teeth that our braces gave us. That’s why I’m getting them out." Her face scrunched up in thought, and I could tell where her mind was headed. “But Katy had braces and she doesn’t have wisdom teeth! Does that mean…” her eyes widened, “we’re special?” I suppressed a laugh. I almost forgot about Katy. I shook my head, almost sadly. "We’re definitely not special." Young Shannon’s eyes dropped to the floor, then traveled back up my body. We sat there in silence for quite awhile, enjoying each other’s company. In my head, I could hear the doctor slicing my gums away, extracting my tooth from under the wreckage. I cringed at the thought. "So," Young Shannon says after quite awhile. "That’s really what I’m going to look like? What’s with the red hair? What’s with the short hair? I thought we wanted to grow it out!" "Well, little girl, I got tired of long hair. I never did anything with it. That and Emma Watson got her hair cut short, and I loved it. And it’s red because I got bored." She gave me an odd look, like she couldn’t understand something. "Emma Watson?" she asked curiously. I hit my palm to my head. “Hermione Granger? Harry Potter series? She’s the actress?” We laughed together under I felt my light start to glow. "Where are you going?" Young Shannon asked, her eyes growing huge at the sight of me. She was afraid, and her eyes started tearing up. "The medicine’s wearing off. I have to go." "B-b-but…" she grabbed my hand. "I don’t want you to!" I smiled and ruffled her hair with a free hand. "Hey, I’m always with you. I’m you, remember?" A smile broke across her face, showing her missing teeth and crooked smile. "Tell Katy I said hi," I said as I began to feel myself fading. "Wait! Aren’t you going to give me some advice or something?" she called across the foggy haze filling my mind. I pondered her request for a moment before I could think of anything to say. "Be careful who you trust," was all I had to say. *** My eyes blinked open in surprise. "How are you doing?" the nurse asked with concern coloring her tone. "Here, let me help you to the recovery chair. We’ll bring your mom back." I nodded, but my head felt ten times its weight. I swung my legs over the side of the chair, but they felt like jelly. What was going on? I couldn’t control anything. "How… How much… time have I… lost?" I mumbled quietly, my speech slurring. "It’s about eleven o’clock." I wanted to gasp, but it hurt too much. Almost an hour of my life. Gone. Just like that.