It’s the journey, not the destination. You’re closing the door and moving into a new room of the house. The door will always be there to open again. You will go to a new place and you will like it, and if not, you will come back and no matter what you do, take chances. Roll the dice. Take risks. Be happy.
You God damn son of a bitch. You. You. I can’t. There it is again. The void. I’m staring into an endless oblivion. And I have no idea where it leads, but I don’t want to move forward. I want to move backward at the speed of light. You God damn son of a bitch.
My mind wanders back to the falling, the hopeless falling from the 105th story. They were right. Movies are something that stay with you and change your life. More phrases and images come to mind, more and more keep coming. I don’t know what to do. No movie has ever overwhelmed me like this. People can say they hate it all they want, that Oskar Schnell was an obnoxious brat with bad manners, that Tom Hanks should have been in the movie more, that the movie didn’t do the book justice, but in my heart, it will forever be my favorite movie. If it’s stayed with me for this long and I still shed a tear when I see scenes from it, let alone think about it… Well… They know they did something right.
I haven’t said much lately. Nothing has been happening lately. Senior year is coming to a close. Four more months, just about. I’m itching to get out of here, to start fresh, to live a life away from this house and these people.
“As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. Then gradually time awakened again and moved sluggishly on.”—John Steinbeck (Of Mice and Men)